Tomorrow night I’ll be celebrating what I’ve dubbed the Persian pagan FIRE FESTIVAL OF DEATH (and rebirth)! It’s called Chaharshanbe Suri, and literally translates to "Wednesday Party", but really, that’s a lame name for a celebration whose central theme involves jumping over goddamn fire.
Because fire, that's why
The Wikipedia page explains that aside from trying not to BBQ my nuts, I should sing "Your fiery red color is mine, and my sickly yellow paleness is yours" to the fire, presumably because fire is my bitch. Yeah fire, rejuvenate me or that bucket of water the neighbours bought over as a present (no, no I’m not making this up) is going straight in your wobbly face!
Other customs include giving away nuts in disguise, inviting the dead over for a game of twister or whatever before they and the Faravahar (guardian angels for humans) go bye byes, and making love with a tree, because you know, Persians aren’t completely batcrap crazy. Okay I may have made the last one up for my own pleasure tomorrow.
Ruth could have chosen a better time to let one rip
It most likely comes from Zoroastrianism which is ooooold, and so doesn’t discriminate based on what some grumps said hundreds of years later. It’s open to Jews, Muslims, Christians, and even the French. So if you have an Iranian friend, ask him if you can tag along. And if he says he’s not celebrating it, ask him why he doesn’t want to set fire to things and then jump over them. There is no excuse in not taking part in something this insane. If your culture tells you that jumping over fire will make you awesome and you don’t want to do it, you need to stop listening to Morrissey.
I’ve already started tearing apart things in the house that I think will burn up good; other peoples passports, other peoples clothes, other people.
If being able to tell the police that it’s your culture, and they’re racist if they try to stop you for burning your cat, isn’t enough of a reason to do this tomorrow, you should also know that it’s become an act of rebellion against the Iranian government. As a side note; trying to stop people being fantastic is a sure sign of evil, if ever we needed one from them.
Tags: celebration, culture, religion
Dear Friend,
The reason why we jump over fire is to celebrate the forgiveness of Kaykavous’ son. Kaykavous was a king of the old persian empire and when his wife died he married a young girl who was the same age as his son. The new young wife had a thing for the son and when she realized he wasn’t interested, she told the king lies about him and how he would come on to her. The king was furious and to punish his son made him jump through rings of fire.
The son did as he was ordered and leaped through the rings with his horse and since he was inocent he didn’t burn and die.
To celebrate his innocense and to re-enact that night that the King’s Son inocense was proven, Persians celebrate the Suri Festival and jump over fire.
Hope this helps.
Cheers, and Happy Nowrouz
your Persian Friend
Oh! You should correct the wiki entry.
Now let’s set things on fire.