Today scientists unleashed another horror unto the world; X-Men style regenerative powers via genetic manipulation. So I’ve decided to conduct my own experiment with probable unwanted effects too;
prolonged sleep deprivation + keyboard + internet – reading the full article because it’s boring = this post
Let’s see where it takes us.
Well done science, I’m sure this isn’t going to end with an apocalyptic mutant war at all! Did you learn nothing from Prophet Lee’s writings?!
"I rock for the Lord!"
Aside from humanities days now being numbered using only two digits, there are other implications. What would the world be like if shooting Tom Cruise in the face didn’t result in his immediate death and a celebration by his parents and others who didn’t have the guts to do it themselves? What if he instantly grew another head?! He might be so mad that after adding your skin to his collection, he’d go and remake Ben Hur, and play every single character and extra!
I’m sure evolution just put the p21 gene in there to mess with us though, so go right ahead and take it out again. I can foresee no horrific and unreversible complications.
It’s like when your friend leaves their mobile phone at your house and you figure you’ll take it apart because "well hell, it’s not my phone". When you’re putting it back together, there’s inevitably an "extra" bit that you doesn’t seem to fit back in. So you leave it out, because a night of high-strength caffinated coke is really the same thing as an engeneering degree, so screw it. It’s only when the phone gains sentience and runs out the house with one of your kitchen knives that you realise what that extra bit was for. N.B. By "friend" I mean Daniel Braunstein. And by "take apart" I mean "break with a hammer". Sorry Danny. But not really. You know how I roll.
... and then stabs itself because it's retarded
If I read what little of the article I did read correctly before exploding my indignation and panic-mongering unto this post — and let’s face it, there’s really little chance of that — we have animal cruelty to thank for all this; specifically, poking holes in mice’ ears for identification purposes. That’s like aliens carving names into our foreheads instead of just giving us bracelets because you know, it’s fun and easy. While I’m all for animal cruelty for fun, this has put me in a difficult situation. I now have to admit that some bad comes from poking animals in the eye with needles in labs and giggling. Science, you have made me side with the hippies, and for this I may never forgive you.
Tags: science
